Paris Brest Paris 2011 really started in December 2002. After being diagnosed with ms in 2001 with me loosing my legs, right arm and ability to speak. After a year a therapy I found that the only type of physical activity I could do was biking and swimming. While the km and my confidence level were building up I was looking for a challenge something that can put me against my disease. Don’t get me wrong people with ms can be challenged everyday just to do the ordinary tasks that one must do to live but inside of me I felt my body could do more but there were doubts and fear but I had to try. I stopped at a newspaper stand and bought a cycling magazine and there I found out about the Paris Brest Paris and I was on my way. I completed my first pbp in 2003 and my second in 2007. Now after 2 pbp’s and 11 years of having ms I decided that the 2011 was going to be different.
PBP had a different registration process in 2011 to complete the pre-registration and to be guaranteed a spot in 2010 a rider should have done a 1000 km so with my friends we went to do the Sicily no stop 1000km in September of 2010. This ride I have already done but the problem was since I had two attacks with my ms in 2010 and rode just under 2000 km for the whole year I was a little worried if I could make it to the end but with my experience over the last 8 years and my group of friends I made it to the end so I could pre-registered for the 2011 pbp and had a guaranteed spot as long as I completed the qualifying rides.
During the winter months from November to March this is the period when my ms acts up why I don’t know either do my doctors but every year I get sick to were I can’t walk. I decided after coming back from Sicily to start swimming and riding not to stop I tried to ride or swim 6 days a week through the winter months hoping that if I kept my body moving I could avoid an attack. This was my own idea not my doctors. As the winter months passed I kind of felt that an major attack was not going to happen I felt good, really good. I think I may have found another way to fight the disease by moving in the winter months. I think as the disease evolves you must evolved with it , if you can. I know what I have in my body if my disease progresses it may be very likely that I won’t be able to ride my bike no longer but for now we are riding.
First Sunday in March we had our first qualifying ride here a 200km , it was nice to see friends of mine again. After completing the 200km 7 hours and 40 minutes my friend Paolo Bronzetti saw that I was in better shape than usual he said to me why don’t we go do the pbp and do it under 70 hours. Paolo is a fast rider a lot faster than I at first I said you are crazy no way I can do it under 70 hours. In 2003 took me 88 hours, in 2007 89 hours and 20 minutes he was saying that I would have to take off almost a day of my total time!! So it was decided we were going to go under 70 hours that is 22 hours less that the previous two times.
The Start
In 2001 I used to get up and run with my golden retriever Scott before starting to work. Then on June 26,2001 after our run I was doing some stretching in the yard and I fell down to the ground just like someone shot my legs from under me. When I tried to get up I noticed that my right arm wasn’t responding. I laid there on the grass Scott looking at me , I didn’t know what had happened , a shot a fear with through my body what is wrong with me?
Monday 22, 2011 0300 Paolo and I woke up and had breakfast at the hotel, we choose the 84 hour start which leaves at 0500. We opted for this start time because we thought we could have an extra night sleep and the start would be a little less crowed. While the other riders were riding or waiting to start on Sunday Paolo and I had dinner and went to bed a 2100. We left the hotel at 0415 heading down to the start. First thing I noticed was the amount of riders compared to the Sunday start was noticeably less plus the people watching the start, the atmosphere was really relaxed Paolo and I both discussed our feelings we were not nervous at all our emotions were under control I hate to say it , felt like another day at the office. I think it was our experience and our plan that we have put together and above all had confidence in our gear. In 2005 I went to do the London Edinburgh London ride not knowing at the time that under prolonged period of cold and rain my ms could kick in, which I found out in 2005 half way through the ride near the Scottish border I lost my left leg and had to stop. Now having Gore bike wear as my sponsor and riding through the 2007 pbp and its 80 hours of rain, finishing the London Edinburgh London in 2008 I had confidence in the gear that gore sent us. Paolo and I always joke about my disease we call it the monster and when it starts raining as it did in London, Sicily and now Paris we say that the monster is following us and is out to get me.
We lined up at the start in the front with the faster riders our plan was to get down to Villaines-la-Juhel at 220km with the fastest group from there we would break off and find another group or just go on alone and go from there. We took off with the first group and got down to the 220km mark around 7 hours and 30 minutes which was pretty fast, so far so good. Around noon it started getting dark out and low and behold the monster was back , it started pouring down rain like I said I had no fear this time is different. Paolo got some text messages from friends who left at 1800 on Sunday and the weather was fine at this point Paolo and I came to conclusion for once and for all the monster must be buried once and for all. So we headed down toward Brest not really having a plan we were just going to listen to our bodies and ride. The rain never stopped all day we rode with our gore-tex jackets on all day. We pulled into loudeac on 22-08 at 23:53 for 18h54 . It hit me here this might be possible! In 2007 I left 6 hours earlier and arrived 3 hours later. So right here after 450km I was 9 hours ahead of 2007!
Two Words
As soon as my wife came home we went to the doctors had an mri and other tests as time went by my legs became numb and finally listening to my doctor I went to the hospital. My most precious thing in my life is my wife Mimma and I can still remember her leaving me at the hospital “ I thought what is wrong with me?” After nine days numerous of tests , my legs were gone couldn’t feel them anymore the doctor told Mimma and I that I have multiple sclerosis.
Since the weather was bad cold and raining Paolo and I decided to sleep 3 hours wake up and ride from Loudeac to Tinténiac at the 867km wich would be about 420km. We woke up had a big breakfast at Loudeac control and took off with our rain jackets on heading toward Brest. I really believe this is the hardest part of the course going from Loudeac-Brest-Loudeac, it is usually windy, cold and if it is going to rain it will in this area. After leaving loudeac paolo and I started passing up the riders in the 90 hour group that left 11 hours before us, this really gave me confidence and I saw some surprised faces when people ask me what time I left and I said the 84 hour start. Going toward Brest across the hills the weather was kind of comfortable was a light drizzle with a dense fog,. In my mind this was the day of truth if we could get back to Tinténiac at a descent hour get some sleep going under 70 could happen. We got down to Brest at 1150 which to me was pretty good, since in 2003 and 2007 got down there at 1300 and 1500 but I left 6 hours earlier I was starting to feel tired but in my mind this was still possible. Upon arriving at Brest I was happy but not as I was in 2003 and 2007 because my mind was set on getting to Tinténiac so we had to eat and get on the road. Paolo and I were starting to feel tired but each of us knew if we could get to the 867km marker get some sleep the last day we could wake up and have to do 360km , this under 70 could happen. We headed back towards Paris pulled into loudeac 2045 now we had to suck it up do the 85km to get into Tinténiac to sleep. I have to say that Paolo and I were pretty locked in to what we had to do at this point I think if we would have had togo straight to Paris if necessary we would have.
Confrontation
After hearing those two words multiple sclerosis I at first thought it was over my life as I knew it. I kept trying to find the why, why me? I never hurt anybody, I believe in God, I love my family I was searching for a reason but in the end I came to the conclusion there isn’t any , things happen for no apparent reason and it is nobodies fault. After doing therapy at home I started getting my legs back to were I could walk. My first doctor told me now that I had ms I couldn’t walk to much, run, to the beach, play baseball. God I thought to myself it is possible it is over already without a fight? Slowly I was adapting to having ms, accepting the fact my body was different. I had two choices to sit on the couch and do nothing or give it a go, confront the disease try to find the motivation to move my body in a way that maybe it can find another way to work. The challenge was on , I found that desire inside of me to confront the disease and I decided I will fight it as long as I can.
We got into Tinténiac at 0208, I was relieved it was know just a wake up and a 260km ride. We set the alarm to 0500 we need that 3 hour of sleep, our feelings were if we didn’t make a mistake this was really going to happen. Wake up at 5 my legs and hands hurt but I think that is pretty normal but our spirits were high because going under 70 hours was in our grasp.
We left Tinténiac at about 0545 heading off to Fougères at the 921km, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tired, Paolo was riding stronger today than the previous days. In my mind I needed to get past the 1000km mark then I would be able to think to myself just got to do a 200 and it is over.
We pulled into Villaines-la-Juhel 1009km at 13:08. Now we were at the 200km mark mentally I was ready to do the last 220km . We moved along slowly which I think was normal the temperature rose and the heat was getting to me I dressed a little heavy , believe me of all things I was hoping for some rain!
Believe in Yourself
Since having ms I discovered the doctors can give you all the drugs in the world, the therapist can make you do physical therapy, your friends and family can stand by you and give you support but to me what is the key to fighting the disease is you. You have to find that something in your heart to fight in to keep living, only you can do know one else. It has been 11 years now I have learned to depend on myself even when I am sick. Maybe I can’t ride a bike but I can cut the grass, I can’t cut the grass, I will cook dinner for my wife. When you are sick nobody knows how you feel only you so you have to find the motivation to keep yourself going nobody is going to give it to you. When I am down and not feeling well I think of a person a dear friend of mine someone who has always been there when I needed a helping hand. A person who fights on never gave up always gave a 100% yes my best friend, Tony Lonero , yes Tony Lonero before he had MS.
Paolo and I with two controls and the finish line now in site were really excited , I believed now this is going to happen . We rode into Mortagne-au-Perche at 1090km at 17:16 now we are down just one control Dreux. The course in Paris has 10,000 meters of hills to climb but at this point the worse was behind us. As Paolo and I were moving toward Dreux we were feeling pretty good some parts we were rolling along at 40km an hour feeling good. We pulled into Dreux to see some friends of ours of ours waiting for us and gave us a little celebration because they could see what was unfolding. Here we were at Dreux at 1165km it was 2100 with 64 km to go this was going to happen nothing was going to stop us now. I usually don’t like to talk about the final result but I told Paolo this last 64 km is our victory lap so lets enjoy it. We took off saw some riders on the way but we kind of kept to ourselves not talking to much . I thought about my wife Mimma who has always been right there with me, sacrificing our time together so I could come to Paris for the third time. She understood I had a statement to make. I know it doesn’t mean much but I was on a mission to make a statement, one that people with diseases can do about the same things as normal people do and I learned what the cycling environment is like very competitive like all sports, I wanted to show people that if I tried I can ride a bike too not just finish.
A lot of people knows me as the guy with ms, ex-baseball player that gets to the finish line, feeling sorry for me, but now if I can get in under 70 hours I think maybe I can change that and they must look at me in a little different way now and maybe others who have ms.
The Finish
A lot of things are born out of end, out of the finish line. My life as I knew it before ms is gone, I know I can’t go back but everyday I thank God that I have ms because if I didn’t I wouldn’t have met a lot of the wonderful people and I wouldn’t have known the inner strength that lies within me. So my life with ms is a new start that brings its new challenges but I look forward to confronting these challenges without fear and I will battle to the end to enjoy life’s most simplest pleasures.
Paolo and I arrived in Paris at 0034 for a total time of 67h35 it was done. In October Paolo and I talked about this goal at the time I thought was impossible considering that in 2003 it took me 88 hours, in 2007 89hours and 20 minutes but from fighting my disease I have taken the fear out of my riding. I will always be the ex-baseball player with ms because I am not a cyclist this is true, but when I am out there me and my bike against my disease I become motivated almost obsessed and this time I was in a war, I was not going to be stopped.
To try at all is to risk failure but to live we must.
Tony lonero 67 hours 35 minutes pbp 2011
11 years multiple sclerosis
